My Vietnam

I never knew how swollen one's eyes can be from excessive crying.

I could not take it anymore.

Upsetting the elders have never struck one's mind. I hate those who are rude and does not appreciate their parents.

It is frustrating that no one person can really feel the anger, sadness and disappointment I felt.

I can repeat the incident to a million people but I can have them feel me.

No one but ALLAH s.w.t knows my genuine emotions. I can hide it but HE knows and only HE understands.

I thank HIM for the lovely friends I have who would take the time out to listen to me cry and rant.

You know who you are. I thank you. It was such a nice gesture. Thanks for calling and listening to my ranting and spasticated crying voice. I am sorry you had to hear all that rubbish despite being at work. I know that none of it made sense but you still took the time to listen. You gave me just what I needed. Thanks so much. Whoever you will be with in the future, that person is extremely lucky.

As for me, I am pushing real hard to realize my childhood dreams. I shall not give up. After what happened, I am determined to make it a reality more than ever. I am not wanting to run away from trouble. I just need some time away. I need to grow up on my own and emerge victorious in this battle of life.

I love my family to death but there is only so much that I can take. If it is money you want, then money you will get. My financial situation has improved. Alhamdullillah. But I guess money makes the world go round.

" I am at war.. Life keeps on dropping bombs and I keep score....This is my
Vietnam..."

- Pink

Overcoming Obstacles

The more I think about it, the more I do what I am NOT supposed to.

That's the problem.

Why do we keep doing the things that we know we are not supposed to be doing?

I have worked hard to get this current stage.

I have less than 3 weeks for my second attempt. I am going to give my best.

Like everything else, there is a possibility I might not get accepted but I need to try and reach my goals.

But negativity kept whispering failure to my ears and I am slowly starting to believe it.

Masya ALLAH.

Positivity seems like the hardest thing to do right now. But I know that that is what I need to instill in my mind, body and soul.

Whatever happens, I will reach. Reach for the moon so that if I do fall, I'll fall on the stars.

Yeah, it is kind of teeny-booper. But this is such an upbeat song and it makes me feel like I can conquer the world.

At the moment, that is just what the doctor prescribed.

S Club 7 - Reach

Song Lyrics

Ultimate friendship

It seems like almost everyone has an ultimate friend who watched them grow.

I used to have one.

We grew up together. We were the bestest friends from primary school all the way through my tertiary years. After secondary school, we went separate ways but still kept in touch...until suddenly all was lost.

No fights, no misunderstandings, nothing. We just lost contact. I miss her so much. I really do. We were there for each other through thick and thin. She can call me up and cry to me at 3 am in the morning but it will be okay because she was my best friend. I hate how I am using the past tense to describe the times we shared.

She promised that our children will become best friends. She promised that despite her ever-so busy schedule, she will still make time for me. But I wonder. There are also others who are in the university and attached but can still make time for that one ultimate friend.

It's very depressing thinking about it sometimes.

I have learnt my lesson.

Promises are meant to be broken.

I never make promises anymore and I forbid anyone from making promises to me. It seems that all the promises I made (and heard) were broken. I am very weary of promises. It's a disease I pray never to contract and be careful of.

WEDNESDAY the destroyer

Time flies by so fast.

It's midweek already. (Wednesday, get it? The picture? No? Never mind.)

One week of (mid-semester) break is just not enough. I need more. MORE!

Readable

What a page-turner!

I love this novel so very much!

I have been visiting almost every local library to find an available copy but to no avail. After much contemplation, I decided to purchase it while I was window-shopping a few weeks back...with both eyes closed. I have to admit that it is one of my most favourite impulse buy. I am not regretting it one bit...for now at least.

Yes, yes it is one of those romance novel. What can I say, I'm a sucker for romance. But I loved how the ending was not predictable. I was sort of expecting a textbook ending but it wasn't. Funny thing is, I'm glad. that's life. Not all seemingly-intimate individuals will end up together happily ever after.

Salam Lebaran

Come tonight, my Muslim brothers and sisters bid farewell to our month long guest.

Our guest, the month in which we are required to fast, the month of Ramadan.

It seemed like only yesterday we started fasting. But in reality, today is the last day we will be fasting. Tomorrow, comes 1st of Syawal.

As the hours pass by quickly and time to break fast is around the corner, I started to reflect on this Ramadan, which is coming close to an end.

What I have learnt?
Have I managed to accomplish what I wanted since last Ramadan?
Has this Ramadan made me stronger than the previous?
Am I a better person?
What do I hope to achieve till the next Ramadan?
Will I be granted the chance to enjoy the next Ramadan? Insya ALLAH.

Answers to questions only I will know.

Let me take this opportunity to wish all my Muslim brothers and sisters a Selamat Hari Raya. Maafkanlah, Liza, kalau saya tersilap kata atau tersinggung perasaan. May all of you be blessed by ALLAH s.w.t and stay happy with your loved ones. Amin.

We don't learn from perfection

There is no such thing as perfection in this world.

ALLAH s.w.t is perfection.

Everything and everyone else is flawed...in one way or another.

Perfect home, perfect marriage, perfect body, perfect family.

A perfect family exists only in a family portrait.

Every single one of the family members are all smiles and ecstatic. No fights, no bickering, no vengeful intentions, none of that.

But I do not have perfect family. So do you.

But I thought for just one day perfection is possible. Just for that one day. The first day of Hari Raya...the day we seek forgiveness and make reconciliations. But I guess I thought wrong.

Aku Anak Melayu

Recently, I found out I am not a pure Melayu as I thought I was.

Apparently, my maternal grandfather was an excellent blend of Malay, Indian and Arab blood. So my siblings and I are practically the end results of a rojak mix of Malay, Indian, Arab and Jawa blood. (Now, I know why some people think I look Indian. *shrugs* For some apparent reason, people think I look like a Pakistani. Madness! I beg to differ. My eyes can almost pop out each time I try to search for that Pakistani resemblance on my face.) Nonetheless, I feel Melayu as ever. Anak Melayu watan.

At the moment, I feel proud to be a Melayu.

I have always heard of Melayus being described as being friendly, demure, soft-spoken, shy, thoughtful and all things good. Frankly, finding such a Melayu nowadays is like looking for a needle in haystack. They are extinct...or so I thought.

Mum decided we break fast outside again today. We arrived late at Simpang Bedok. We break fast by eating dates and drinking milk. Simpang Bedok was not as Mum had expected...it was packed!

Unconsciously, we stood behind a Malay family, whom at that moment, consisted of a nenek in a wheelchair and the helper. Much to our delight, nenek offered her small plate of goring pisang to us.

"Makanlah, goreng pisang ni dulu. Dah azan dah ni..."

Mum and I were just stunned. It took us a few seconds to politely decline her generous offer. If that was not beautiful enough, they offered me to share the seat with them, seeing that the table my parents found had only two vacancies.

At the end of the whole thing, I cannot help but salam them and wished them Eid Mubarak.

It was just a beautiful and memorable event. Seeing that generous, sincere gesture from a family I have never met (and probably will never meet again), made me more ashamed of myself. It's so depressing how selfish I can be. It is also quite embarrassing how most Melayus (me included) nowadays tend to be a tad bit too self-centred and very Westernised. There was a period of time when I was actually embarrassed to claim my Melayu-ness. How sad is that!

Masya ALLAH.

But now that I am older and have learnt what matters most in life (somehow), I am actually proud of my roots. Whatever it may be...

Stop burning the darn forest!

I hate the haze!

Well, who doesn't?

I have tonnes of work to do and the haze is making things worse.

My nose is darn sensitive to the dust and hence, I can't stop sneezing.

Madness!

Argh!

But 1 week of holiday next week!

Woo hoo!

Born and raised In Singapore

I was born and raised in this Lion City.

But I still cannot get used to the heat!

I hate stepping out of my classroom because the weather is just madness.

What with the already humid local weather, the haze just makes it worse.

I wish I could carry an air-conditioner on my back so I will not feel so blooody warm.

Never mind that it's heavy, at least I am not sweating my bloooody pants off!

ARGH!

I want you back!

From the first time I laid eyes on YOU,

I knew right then that we were meant for each other.

YOUR simplicity was what attracted me most.

There was no need for extreme details, my love grew with each realization that YOU are different from the rest.

I felt safe and looked forward to the times when we would be together.

How magical the world seems with each step I take.

When all else seems to fail, YOU always made it all right again..without saying a word.

A touch connects us and the world is right again.

We were rarely apart for I go where YOU go.

None other can replace the true, pure love I saved for thee.

For none other can replace you, my Birky.

I MISS MY BIRKENSTOCKS!

Damn the bugger who stole it.

Eureka!

I have found it!

I have found my perfect occupation!

It combines both my love for children and my childhood dream.

The due date is end of this year. Oh gosh, still a long way to go. I can accomplish a lot of things that will improve my chances of landing that job.

ARGH!

I am so excited! I can hardly contain my excitement!

I feel like screaming!!!

Someone I trust told me she believes I can realize my dream but I have to work ten times harder!

It's hard, you know. But I will do it! Insya ALLAH.

I WILL REALIZE MY DREAM!

Working on a mission like this is quite exciting. Having a goal gives you direction and the reward I can reap at the end of this is very satisfying.

I can do it! Insya ALLAH.

Sorry, Full House

I learnt an important lesson while trying to find a place to break fast today.

Always make reservations waaaay beforehand.

My parents and I decided to break our fast outside as Mak did not cook today.

We went to Bugis and could not find a single available place to eat.

There are numerous restaurants there and not a single one is available.

All of the seats have been taken up. Almost all the restaurants are full house.

Can you imagine that?!?!

We ended up buying Oreo cookies and Soyabean drink from 7-11.

Alhamdullillah.

At least we did manage to eat something.

A Dream Came True

Okay, so I was bored.

I purchased 3 days of Internet connection with no particular purpose in mind.

What do I surf for?

What do I use my purchase for?

Do I have anything in particular I need to research on?

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing was the answer to all of my questions.

Google.com remained on my screen for eternity, it seems.

Up till I decided to surf for ambyoffspring - my blogspot username (Yes, I was dead bored.)

To think that I was ever envious of the fact that a gazillion others read blogs of my fellow bloggers.

My very humble blog actually came in 2393th place in the Top 3000 Counters Of 20521 Users with 1418 hits!

How cool is that!

Hahahahaha...Silly me.

To all those who have visited this humble blog of mine, I thank you. Thank you for taking the time out to read what I have to say and please don't stop visiting my blog. Leave comments if you want - both negative and positive. I welcome every type. Thanks again and have a great life ahead!

Candles of Support

Media is a great source of spreading a message.

I was watching TV while getting ready for work one morning when an advertisement caught my attention.

Children from various backgrounds and nationalities were talking about the widespread disease that goes by the name of child pornography. It was a message to put a stop to online child abuse.

Their goal is to light a million candles of support before 31 December 2006. The petition will be used to encourage the related authorities to stop this inhumane trade.

I know I can't save the universe but I took the time to light a candle - and I did not spend a single cent doing it. It just took 3 minutes of my time.