I'm Okay

5 minutes after mourning for the "loss" of Lance Bass, I was all well again.

Why? Because WADE ROBSON is coming down to Singapore!

Yes! The WADE ROBSON!

His moves are simply to die for and that's not to mention, his good looks. The looks speaks for itself.

Dinah wants to have his babies but I have his heart. Ha!

He's looking right into my eyes. Awwwww..I love you too, baby.

He makes this suit look gooooood.

Spiky hair, no hair. when you're fiiiiine, it doesn't matter. Thou shalt look fiiiiine anyways.

Mourning Mode

I'm mourning.

I logged into the Internet to this....

"Lance Bass of 'N Sync Reveals He's Gay"

He was my favourite N'Sync. He still is. He was always so low-profile and next to Justin Timberlake, I have to admit that I thought he was the other eye candy.

This is really devastating.

Excuse me, everyone, I am just going to mourn the "loss" of another good-looker.

Man in uniform? Anytime, behbeh.

I like it simple. Shirt and jeans work juuuuuust fine for me.

Loneliness was a friend of mine

Too much of something makes one afraid to be without it.

Constantly being around people makes me scared to be all by myself.

I used to love the freedom of walking around aimlessly, all alone.

The feeling of not being able to turn around and share what I see with someone I am comfortable with scares me.

Paris Theron

Paris Hilton wins Best Actress Award at the Grammys this year.

Yeah right!

I heard on the radio today how Paris's acting coach compares her acting skills to that of Charlize Theron. What?!?!? Is that coach blind or dumb or just trying to suck up to that hotel heiress? Gosh! I would be extremely insulted if I was Charlize, seriously.

No offense to Paris worshippers but seriously, guys, come on, let's just snap back to reality okay. Paris giving a tremendous performance in a film like Monster? I don't think so. Maybe not even after like a million acting classes.

But still, one has to give Paris credit for trying.

Stale news

Flies and maggots cover this post.

This is very, very stale news because it took place yonks ago. Okay, I exaggerate. It was just a few weeks back, more specifically on the 14th July 2006. However, since I am the Queen of Late News, this post is published only weeks after the event took place.

I was invited by my ex-lecturer to give a speech during a career seminar. Once again, after about 3 years, I was back on familiar grounds - Temasek Polytechnic. This time, I strolled past the lecture halls as a graduand and not as a student. It felt great! As I walked down the concourse area, I had a quick flashback on when I would sit on one of those uncomfortable benches, awaiting my fellow partners in crime before we dominate the lecture halls or tutorial rooms. Those were the days! I miss it so very much!

Anyhow, I was a nervous wreck during the speech. It has been ages since I last did public speaking but the adrenaline rush was uncomparable. I felt a great sense of pride and relief after delivering my speech.

I met a lot of wonderful individuals who are excellent in their specific fields. It was an honour.

But what elated me the most was the opportunity to meet up with Miss J, my ex-lecturer/good friend/makcik/excellent impersonator/inspirational individual/my idol/advisor/counsellor. She is one memory of TP that I can never, ever forget. She is unreplaceable.

Traits of a September baby

Active and dynamic - Dynamic? As in charismatic, lively, vigorous? Hahahahaha..

Decisive and haste but tends to regret.

Attractive and affectionate to oneself - Hmmmm....I guess you can say that.

Strong mentality.

Loves attention - Hell Yeah!

Diplomatic.

Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems - What can I say? I change people's lives.

Brave and fearless - Occassionally

Adventurous.

Loving and caring.

Suave and generous.

Usually you have many friends.

Enjoys to make love - Don't we all? Hehehe

Emotional.

Stubborn.

Hasty.

Good memory - Not exactly. Heh.

Moving, motivates oneself and others - I've said it once, I'll say it a million times. I change people's lives. Heh.

Loves to travel and explore - It's a wonderful world out there, just waiting to be discovered.

Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand - *blushes* let's wait and find out then, shall we?

Never do things half-hearted

It was very irresponsible of me.

I was not sure why but the excitement just died down after a while.

Was it because of the distance? Was it because I was sick of having to adjust to changes? Was it because my weekend will be affected? Argh!

I really don't know. But one thing's for sure. I wasted his time as well as mine. The interview and everything.

I was just not into it for some reason. I have always loved performing but I am not sure why I didn't go through with it.

Anyways, it's over. One thing I've learnt is to be absolutely sure about wanting to do something before embarking on doing it.

No excuse

I just found out that the worst time to exercise is when you have your period.

Not only will you feel uneasiness when you jog, you just get tired real easily.

But the show must go on. Keeping fit knows no boundaries. Tired or not, I still have to jog.

Just...a...bit...more...

A whole lotta questions

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head?
[1] Nazilah
[2] Miasara
[3] Imran
[4] Imran(YTSS)
[5] Alias
[6] Elyyah
[7] Nisha
[8] Haizam
[9] Shirley Joseph
[10] Sel
[11] Nel
[12] Helmi
[13] Orlando Bloom
[14] Dinah
[15] Feroz
[16] Yati
[17] Ariff
[18] Azhar (TP)
[19] Syidah
[20] Karuna
[21] Nasyriah

how did you meet 1?
We were from the same secondary school. That explains it all.

what would you do if you never met 6?
Then I would be the second child in my family. DUH!

what would you do if 20 and 9 date?
Madness! My ex-lecturer (ie: 9) would not be dating an ex-colleague (ie: Karuna) because they are both straight ladies.

did you ever like 5?
I have to like 5 because he's my brother. Heh.

would 3 and 12 make good couple?
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hell yeah. They already won "Couple of the Year" 10 years straught. Heh.

describe 8.
He looks like my brother. He talks like my brother. He acts like my brother. He thinks like my brother but he is NOT my brother.

do you think 13 is attractive?
WHAT! We are talking about Orlando Bloom here. This shouldn't even be a question. It's self-explanatory. He's beyond attractive. He's GORGEOUS!

what's 21's fave colour?
White? No, blue? No, pink? No, ermmmmmm...green? Okay, I give up.

what would you do if 18 confessed to liking you?
Azhar? Hahahahahahaha...Azhar, I hope you're reading this. I would be flattered if he does because I know he never will. Ha!

what language does 20 speak?
Hindi, English & Mandarin.

who is 9 going out with?
I have no idea. She is very careful about revealing her private life. I respect that.

what grade is 16 in?
She's married. She just given birth. I reckon she has enough in her hands to be worried about schooling.

when's the last time you talked to 3?
Yesterday night.

would you ever date 7?
No! Shesh!

is 15 single?
Ha! Promo time! Okay, Fer, this is what you've been waiting for. Your name has finally appeared in my blog and yes girls, he's single. Grab him now!

what's 19's last name?
Andi Satria. Very unique.

you ever wanna be in serious relationship with 11?
Hahahahahahahahaha.....Not exactly. Different faiths is hard, that's all. But he is definitely good boyfriend material, I'm sure.

what's your favourite thing about 1?
Ha! She's my mengumpat partner, this one. She makes me laugh, I make her laugh, we make each other laugh. Madness!

have you ever seen 1 naked?
NO! I don't think I will ever want to and I don't think she ever wants to see me naked as well. Hahahahaha. Madness! Sorry, Naz. I think this is one thing we could agree on.

oklah, i'll try by tagging these 3 Martians:-
[1] Diana
[2] IMmature
[3] KakRaihan

Death is unavoidable

Death is one event everyone will have to go through.

The concept of immortality is mere fiction.

Like every journey, we need preparations.

How do we prepare for Death? How do we know we have prepared enough?

We won't know. We won't know when enough is enough until we die.

Someone confessed to me how he is afraid if the things he is doing right now is not enough for him to prepare for what's to come after death. He wishes he could spend his entire time preparing for death.

I don't think he is alone.

There are a gaziilion people out there who share the same thinking as he does, I am sure of it.

But I think, they forgot about one thing.

If all we want to do is forget about wordly things and simply divert our time and life to preparing for death, then why would ALLAH s.w.t. create the beauty that surrounds us?

Why was this beauty created if not to be enjoyed and appreciated?

Why are we given intelligence if not to use them and analyze and differentiate the wrong from right?

Why are we on this Earth if not to be granted the opportunity to obey ALLAH's commands while simultaneously, witness (for ourselves) the power of the Almighty?

Aftermath

I know what I heard and when I heard it.

I was every bit stable (emotionally) at the point of time when YOU said those words.

Whatever I wrote in this blog about YOU are my thoughts and feelings. I was tired of having to care and suppress them because I might end up striking a nerve for being so blunt and straightforward about what happened between us.

I always had to think about the state that YOU were in, how my words will affect YOU. It was always about YOU. It was always about how much YOU need time and space. It was always about how YOU need to get over her and YOUr life on track. It was always about YOU, YOU, YOU.

Well, this is MY blog. The words YOU are reading are MINE.The feelings and thoughts are MINE. I have never asked YOU to visit this site and read them. That was YOUr choice. I have never had the intention to thrash YOU because I was taught well.

This is my therapy. I need to recover from being hurt to forgiving YOU with no hatred. That's not easy. YOU, of all people, should know that.

Yes, I will be careful about what I say. But I believe that if one cannot accept the truth, then don't confront it. Well, that's just my two-cents worth.

Thanks for YOUr offer but I do not need a punching bag. Maybe some other girls might take YOU up on it but not me. Thanks anyways.

Love on the Internet

Internet love.

What is your take on that?

Seriously, I was doubtful of it as first. I still am actually. But then again, I am doubtful of love in general.

Is there still love in this world full of violence, hatred and deceit? Are there people with whom you can trust your life with? Okay, I digress.

Back to the topic - internet love. Doesn't it scare you being in a state of unknown and uncertainty about the credibility of his/her identity? He/she might turn out to be a physcho or a abuser of some sort. You never know.

But then again, even if he/she was introduced through a mutual friend, how does that makes it any better? You will not be able to know the person's true colours just by looking at him/her. Hence, the risk is still there. Maybe not as much but it is still a gamble.

Like internet love, the process of getting to know that someone is still unavoidable.

That is love, isn't it? It's a gamble. Always so risky. You need to take the chance but precaution is always key.

Forgive me

Time is of the essence.

I am chasing after time.

It goes so fast that I run to catch up with it and overlooked your cry for help. I am sorry.

Or was it because I was afraid of being laughed at?

I am sorry.

Why do I care so much about them and what they might think of me?

You needed help.

You needed help to pick up the fallen tissue packets.

It was not easy for you to do that - not while you are on a wheelchair.

I am sorry.

Thoughts of HIM

I like my current state of mobility.

I am never in one place.

I am always on the move - from Kakak's place to my place and then back to her place.

My schedule is packed with activities which needs preparations.

I need focus and concentration to deliver excellent executions.

But I still do think of HIM.

.....whoever HE is,

.....wherever HE may be,

.....however shall I get to meet HIM,

.....when our paths will cross,

....when we will be together.

Tawakkal. Surrender to ALLAH s.w.t and all will be fine, Lizzie. For ALLAH makes no mistakes and HE knows best.

I hava had about enough!

Enough!

I have had it with being stereotyped as someone who does silly things. For the hundreth time, I do NOT club or drink. Do NOT judge my character by my exterior.

Dressing the way I do does not make me a whore, for goodness sake.

Stop living in your own shallow, little world.

Open up your eyes...AND your mind.

All in the name of Beauty

I want to be just like Christina Aguilera.

Okay, I kid. Heh. She's great, nonetheless. Maybe I'm just a tad bit slow at observing things but I just happen to notice this recently. Her boobs has grown tremendously.

Below is when she first started out. Notice how there is no cleavage, whatsoever.

But look at Christina now! Woo Hoo! Man, has she grown!

I can never fathom why some ladies would go through the trouble of going for implants (At first I thought they grew naturally. But of course, I was wrong).

The pain and the dangers just to be sexy and beautiful. Is it really worth it?

Life's blessings

My brother finally gets to be with his daughter - eventhough it's just for once a week. Small steps, abang.

My sister has finally given birth. (I love my Mia).

My parents are grateful for their grandchildren. They cannot wait for the little tykes to grow up. The house is already liven up with their cries and mostly, their laughter, as it is. Nonetheless, they are thankful.

I am blessed. Alhamdullillah

Yesterday YOU

Hilary Duff - So YesterdaySong Lyrics

I lied.

I am angry.

I am not certain as to how they know but they do know.

I gave you my best.

You used my confidence to raise YOUrs.

Despite my anger, I still do wish you all the very best.

I am not sure if the rumours are true. If so, all the best to YOU.

I hope YOU believe in karma. Because if YOU do, then YOU'll know that what goes around comes around.

Don't get me wrong. I am not hoping that YOU go through the same fate YOU put me through but that's how it goes. The world is not flat, sweetie.

Don't ignore me and then expect everything to be well and dandy. I have forgiven YOU but have I forgotten? Never!

Don't worry, I am not trashing you.

Maybe this post will create some tension or whispers amongst them but I really don't know (And don't care).

But what I do know is that YOU are my yesterday.

Ecstatic In The Rain

No need for umbrellas when the feel of the rain on your skin makes one happy.

I went jogging.

I ran in the rain with no umbrella.

I could actually count the number of fellow joggers I saw today - zilch.

I loved it. The world was just me and my music.

The feel of the rain on my brown skin made me feel alive. Alhamdullillah. It felt great to be alive.

I thanked ALLAH s.w.t for allowing me to have my ME time as how I have always dreamt it.

I jogged then I walked. I could walk forever. But I have to get back to my reality.

During my walk, I was in my own little world, my own little corner. I was happy. I was loved. I had almost everything I hoped for.

In my reality, I am happy. I am loved and I do have almost everything I hoped for. Alhamdullillah.

Why could I ever be unhappy with the way my life is.

Surrender, Lizzie. Just surrender.

Top of the World

I get upset - I run

I get emotional - I run

I am happy - I run

I get angry - I run

I feel trapped - I run

I feel like shouting - I run

I am in need of some fresh air - I run

I am tired - I run

I want to kill time - I run

I feel hungry - I run

I feel awful - I run

I feel bloated - I run

The best way to feel better and ultimately, look better...I hope. Running makes me happy. Running makes me feel positive.I think it's the magic of knowing that you are practising good self-care when you're down that can make me feel on top of the world again.

Mummy, mummy...

Mel B - LullabySong lyrics

Motherhood hits the highest this month - for most women I know at least. I bet the stork is very, very busy delivering the adorable little ones to their beautiful mummies.

I pray that those lucky women learn to truly enjoy your living joys. They are God's gift to you and your ever-loving spouse(s). After 9 months of an extremely close connection between you and the baby, it's now finally the time for the little tyke to see the wonders of the world - plus life's buggers that creeps up when one least expects it.

I watched Oprah today and 3 women came on the show saying how they became suicidal because the pressure of being a mother was too much for them to bear.

At this point of time, I have to be frank that I am not able to understand how that is even possible. How could you be so pressurised to the point of suicide? In school, pressure does get to me sometimes but my students never fail to surprise me and make me alright again. I am probably the last person to be talking about motherhood (For now, at least) because I do not even have children of my own.

However, what I do know is that motherhood is one of the bestest thing to happen to a woman. It's a privilege. Household chores, sending the boys to soccer practices or girls to ballet, driving them to school or tuition classes, ironing, cooking can make one's life almost monotonous after a long while. But mothers, please know this. Without you ladies, the family does not function. It's true. My family will go haywire if my mum was not around. She is the engine that keeps the family running. We love her for that. She touched our lives each day with all the things she said and do. My mother taught me a great deal about life and everything else. I can never imagine life without her and would not even want to. Her love (despite my failures) keeps me going and her strength and confidence makes me proud to be a woman. I may not show how much I treasure her but whatever opportunity I have, I will let her know.

Like all other strong yet gentle, independent yet loving, soft-hearted yet determined mothers, she set the pathway for girls like me to embrace motherhood with positivity. I am not pregnant (yet) but when I am given my privilege, I shall embrace and enjoy it as like how my mummy has shown me. Insya ALLAH.

To all new mothers out there, take a deep breath and look ahead with strong postive vibes. You are already making an impact in your children's lives just by being who you are. Don't ever succumb to the pressures of life because you are extremely strong. God created us with so much inner strength and willpower. All we have to do is just reach within ourselves for that and know that you can only be brought down - only if you allow it to. You have everything it takes to be a good mother.

Forgive but I can never forget

Being positive was less tiring without all the hurt confusing me.

Forgiving YOU was easier without the past and the truth clouding me.

But knowing the truth reaffirms the need for me to forgive and be positive.

Reaffirms the choice I made the day I chose.

I made up my mind.

I have faith in ALLAH s.w.t.

I forgive YOU. I really do. It was hard. It was so much easier to hate YOU instead. But I forgive YOU. All of YOU. Everything that YOU did.

But the past cannot be changed. Forgiveness does not mean everything goes back to normal.

The truth was simple. But it was twisted and turned so bad that it made both of us confused. Now it's out. Finally. And I had to derive it myself. I had to make it out myself.

I hope YOU are well. I pray that YOU are well...everyday. Eat right and take care of yourself.

Forgiving takes a lot of strength and willpower - something I will never be lack of.

Cosmos woes

It's really quite a waste of time to keep on dwelling on the things that we would like changed rather than focusing our energy on the things we really like about ourselves.

I used to have really clear skin. Well, okay to be honest, it was not as clear nor as soft as the skin of a newborn but most importantly, it was pimple-free.

For reasons only known to The Almighty, I have developed a straight line of pimples right across my left cheek. It is literally a straight line. Some of my friends call it my Northern Star (I am blessed with such thoughtful and "sensitive" people I call idiots. I mean friends. Heh) On top of that, I have this obvious pimple mark on my upper lip (I have also recently discovered the magic of concealers.) For a while, I used to dread going out and I couldn't even look at other people because I felt like all they see when they look at me is my...pimples.

It was all to much for me to bear. Was too much.

Mama was so frustrated when I continuosly moaned about my pimple woes that she finally looked at me in the eye and said,

"Adik, I am sick and tired of your silly complaints. It could have been worse. Remember how so-and-so looked like. She had pimples ALL over her face. For goodness sake, shut up and be grateful that it's not worse."

If that doesn't wake me up and stop me from being all whiny, then I don't know what will.

My Northern Star is still there and so is the pimple mark on my upper lip. Despite that, I still do make the choice to go out and have loads of fun with my friends - just like the good old days. On top of that, I am smiling again - and I am confident that it's my smile that is more obvious.

It's mind over matter, really. What a powerful tool the mind is.

Masya ALLAH.

It's all in the mind

How does it feel to kill someone?

Don't get me wrong. It's not at the top of my To-Do list (Gosh, it is NOT even in my list.)

But out of curiosity, how does it feel to kill someone?

I watch episode after episode of CSI. There are a lot of deaths in that drama series. Some of them are extremely gruesome.

The actual events that happened will be shown at the end of the show after the very intelligent and gorgeous CSIs have managed to solve the cases. It sends shivers down my spine when the screen shows how the murder was done.

It just got me thinking to the question italicised above. I cannot understand how anyone in their right mind can actually have the heart to watch another die in their own hands. Okay, I think I somewhat answered my doubts. They are NOT in their right mind.

It's quite intimidating knowing how powerful your mind is. It can just control your whole being. It has the ability to take over all of you. It is capable of making you do things that are just out of this world.

Some of the murders were done so systematically that if it weren't for the dedication put in by the CSIs, the cases would not never get solved.

The one thing that can make one aspire to greater heights is also able to drive one to insanity and in turn, endangering the people that cross our path.

We CAN handle the truth

Frustrated? Annoyed? Confused? Maybe all of them.

I simply cannot understand why one can be very mysterious about their relationship with another person. It just irks me. I really don't see what the benefits they get when doing so. Of course, I am not asking one to publicly announce the news. But when asked, just give the truth. It will not kill anyone.

Some of them claim that they do not want to make a big hoo haa about the matter (Nobody asked you to, anyways.). Some are afraid that they might complicate things if the whole world knows about it (It's already complex to start off with, anyways.) And the list goes on and on.

You can be Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie or Britney Spears and Fred Durst, for all I care. If you are seeing someone in question (and you're been asked about it), just admit it. Sooner or later, the whole world is going to know about it, anyways. So what difference does it make?

Shesh!