Same mission, same vision but hopefully not the same results

On 3rd of April this year (title: Mission Possible), I created a post that mentioned about my mission to lose weight in time for my sister's wedding. Well, frankly, I have to admit that I did not exactly accomplish that mission. I did lose some weight but not to my targetted weight. Now that the school holidays are here, all the more I need to be extra, extra careful about what I eat. Like the saying goes, you are what you eat.

Okay, so here's the exercise regime that I've worked out.

Start date: 29 November 2005
Deadline: 29 January 2006

Mission
- To lose 3kg within 60 days
- To shed 3 cm off my waist

Objectives
- To maintain a healthy weight
- Develop healthy eating habits in order to be able to perform my very best in whatever challenge I intend to undergo
- Save money - Can always borrow Kakak's clothes and local sizes tend to be smaller and cheaper as well.
- Health reasons - Have been feeling lethargic very easily, get headaches frequently etc.
- Need to get my body moving (ie: exercising regularly) in order to boost my immune system and stay healthier and radiant all the time

Current weight
63 kilograms

Waist size
32.5 centimetres

Exercise plan
Odd days (ie: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday & Sunday)
- 45 minutes of walking
- Wall Push Up
A) Stand a few feet away from a wall and place hands on wall at shoulder level, a few inches wider than shoulders. (B) Pull the abs in and, keeping back straight, bend elbows and lower body towards the wall until elbows are at 90 degree angles.
- Outer Thigh
(A) Holding on to a chair for balance, bend right knee to 90 degrees. (B) Keeping body upright, lift bent leg straight up until it's parallel to the floor. Slowly lower back to start and repeat on each leg. For added resistance, use 1-5 lb ankle weights or a resistance band.
- Floor Squat
(A) Stand with feet wider than shoulders and place hands on the floor, ball or a chair (depending on flexibility). (B) Bend knees and, keeping weight in the heels, lower butt until it's parallel to floor (or as low as you can). Keep abs in and make sure you can see your toes.

Even days (ie: Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday)
- 2 minutes of skipping (Do you know how hard this is???)
- 40 minutes of walking
Oblique Crossover Crunches
Lie on your back and cross right foot over left knee. Lift shoulder blades off the floor and curl left shoulder towards right knee, contracting the right side of waist. Lower and repeat on the same side before switching sides.
Vertical Leg Crunch
1. Lie face up on the floor and extend the legs straight up with knees crossed.
2. Contract the abs to lift the shoulder blades off the floor, as though reaching your chest towards your feet.
3. Keep the legs in a fixed position and imagine bringing your belly button towards your spine at the top of the movement.
4. Lower and repeat for 12-16 reps.
Bridge with Leg Lift
Lie face up on the floor, knees bent. Push body into a bridge position, supporting your weight on your feet and arms. Straighten one leg up, heel flexed and slowly lower leg out to the side a few inches WITHOUT moving the rest of the body. Use the abs to stabilize your body and don't hold your breath. Do all reps on one leg, then switch sides

Wish me luck, guys.

I (wished) I flirted

Have you ever experienced a moment when you want so much to flash that million dollar smile at a certain someone but for whatevcr reason, you just kept looking away when both eyes met?

I experienced that yesterday. Frankly, that is not the first time I experienced it but argh! I really wished I had flashed that smile.

A few years back, a friend of mine taught me this "flirting technique". I tried it once and it worked! But after that, I never tried it anymore. I seriously did not know why I stopped. Maybe it was just too much for me. The guy really followed me after that. It scared the hell out of me.

I was not going to try the "technique" on the guy I saw yesterday but I just wished I had flashed that smile. You know how a smile can really just brightens up someone's face? That's me.

Oh well, there goes on another chance. Maybe next time.

He popped the question

I was chatting with a friend yesterday. We talked about all kinds of things, including the good and horrible times we spent in secondary school. Then he asked me one question, " So what do you think you have achieved from secondary school to now, Liz?"

I couldn't answer him.

Maybe it's time for some toilet thinking. (Why call it "toilet thinking"? Because I believe that's the only time I can really sit down and do some self-reflection.)

ALLAH hears my prayers

I cannot contain my excitement. It is so amazing what just one phonecall can do to your mood. I have been praying for this phonecall to come (but I admit that I do forget to pray sometimes. Yikes!)

Anyways, she called and I am so glad she did.

Alhamdullillah.

I hope whatever that I was told the last time we had the conversation stays as that. I hope the amount won't go down. I hope it will all go smoothly.

Alhamdullillah.

I just can't stop being excited and oh so grateful. At the point when my life seems to be going down the hill, it is now being lifted up.

One more thing to be happy about is that the lady offered me an opportunity to earn some extra cash during this holiday.

Alhamdullillah.

ALLAH hears my prayers.

Change of (blog)skin

I spent the whole of today looking for the right blogskin. I wanted something to be of the same level as my previous skin. I wanted to feel at ease and just motivated to write whenever I look at my skin.

I think I browsed through ALL the blogskins at blogskins.com but none of the blogskins were giving me the same vibes as my previous one. Frankly, I actually looked at my present skin a few times before deciding to change to it.

Now that I have done all the edits, I must say that I made the right decision. I'm lovin' it!

Separation is the hardest

I dreaded for the day you would be here

but how beautiful life seems when you're near

It seems that I can conquer the world,

Eventhough I may be just a girl.

You are always by my side,

Never, ever will we fight.

Making me laugh with all your antics,

Even the most serious stuff can seem stupid.

Now you leave me on my own,

Heartbroken and oh so, so forlorn.

Sex in the City

I was in the train with my cousin a few days back. We were on our way downtown to get some sourvenirs for his friends back home.

Anyways, while we were chit-chatting, along came this teenage girl who boarded the train with a female friend of hers. They started talking real loud in their mother tongue. From the bits and pieces of the foreign (to me at least!) language, I derived that she was only 15 years old. (She does look young.)

When they got to the topic of SEX TOYS, somehow for reasons only known to them, they became louder than before. She was amazingly adamant to the fact that she was only 15 and sex toys shouldn't even be a topic that she should be so proud to discuss in public. Seriously, from her body language and tone of voice, it was like she was trying to show off to the other commuters that she dares and is somewhat experienced enough to be talking about SEX TOYS. Shesh! It was just disgusting.

Call me conservative. At 15, SEX TOYS never even managed to make its way into my mind. Yes, I do develop crush and all that but never things like sex toys or even sex. I was so afraid to even think of it. So much so that I (almost) convinced myself that I can get pregnant just by thinking about sex. I was that afraid of the 'S' word. I do not even want to mention it.

Now, these children are talking and discussing about SEX TOYS like it was...nothing. Like it was the most normal thing to talk about. In fact, it is normal. Frankly, I feel for the generation of today. The pressure of peer acceptance is even more so now. It's all about sex nowadays. Sleeping around is really the norm now.

I believe media is one of the factors that contributes to this "sex spree" that is oh so apparent now. In almost every magazine that I come across, there has to be at least one article about sex. Out of the world sex moves, sex toys, tips on spicing up your sex life etc. Sex, sex, sex. That is the literary portion. Movies - well, pretty obvious, right?

Lorry Ride

Eventhough the memories I had with these boys may not be all good ones, I still do cherish the time I got to spend with them last Sunday. As usual, my camera was on strike. I seriously think all rechargeable batteries have anti-Lizzie elements in them. My digicam died on me only on the third house (after charging the batteries for more than 2 hours. ARGH!). What's new. :p Lucky for me, Helmi volunteered to compress the pictures and pass them to me. Thanks, Deathstar. Pictures say a thousand words. I don't think one needs a thousand words to describe the people in these pictures. Only three words , WE HAD FUN!

Mamas, I love you....

Throughout my life, I was blessed with the presence of 3 wonderful ladies who guided and taught me all I ever need to know about living life, righfully in this world made wretched by human beings ourselves.

I have three "mothers". Don't get me wrong. My dearest father is very faithful to my lovely mother. My real mother is the second lady from the right. She taught me the most, of course. No doubt about that. But the otehr two ladies I still do regarrd them as my like my own "mothers".

I feel silly sometimes. Today is one of the times. I feel so silly because I thought I was alone all this while. I thought I had nobody who actually wanted to be associated with me. (ok ok, I am being paranoid and stupid.) But only ALLAH can see and feel the love these ladies showed to me that they ached when I ached, they eat when I eat, they sleep when I sleep, they smile when I smile, they rejoice when I rejoice. They were there for me all throughout my life. At least for most part of it.

Why was I so blind? There are people who care for and still does. They accepted me for who I truly am. No questions asked.

Masya ALLAH. How blessed I am.

P/S: Upon looking at this picture, I seriously do need a haircut. Pronto!

Living Life

A life full of wonderful things,

A life full of beauty,

A life full of love from your life partner,

A life full of all the things you have ever dream of

That is the life I crave for... a life that is not mine.

But as I live this life,the life which I would exchange for for anything in the world,

The life that no-one in their right mind would choose even if it was put up for the lowest price ever,

The life that is full of mundane and routine events,

The life I call mine.

Why do we always crave for something not ours?

Why do we always believe that life will be that much better if we had what they had?

Why can't life be full with what we have now?

I am tired, so so tired...

Not tired of living this life ...

But tired of wanting to live other peoples' lives.

Of wanting to exchange my life for theirs.

I'm tired of that.

I have a life but I never lived it. Maybe I will one day. Maybe that day is today.

Second Day of Raya

*Lizzie singing one of that Christmas song*
On the third day of Raya, we took Kakak's car..hahahahahaha....Yeah, Kakak bought a new car. A Vios, to be precise. It smells gooooooooooooood. Oh well, it's new. Let's see how well Kakak and Abang Fitri can take care of their Vios and whether it can stay smelling that good. Ha! Anyways, they were kind enough to take these two buffaloes around. (Uweeeeek!) Bads and me just cannot stop posing. It's great fun, I tell you.

We went to a lot of houses on that day. Unfortunately, not many pictures of the houses we visited were taken. Instead, we took a whole lot of pictures....inside Vios. I shall just display selected few.

Of course, that's not my seat. Bapa has been bugging me to get my license. In fact, my while family has been bugging me to do so. Argh! Pressure!

A whole display of the pictures I managed to capture despite my brother-in-law's attempts at annoying the heck out of me so that the flash would stop well flashing. But who cares even if that's his car. hehehehehe... Adik minta maaf eh, Abang Fitri. Peace brader!

"Accident Child"

Should one be saddened knowing she is an "accident child"?

A child conceived by accident. A child whom the couple was not expecting because they were intending to stop at two. A child who was not planned to be part of the family. But should the "accident child" still be saddened by that as she reflects on her life and realised how much love, care and concern was showered to her despite being conceived accidentally? That despite being an "accident child", she was usually given extra treatment as compared to her older siblings because she is the youngest in the family and was pampered like no other? Should she still be saddened as she thinks of how her father dotes on her and would pick and fetch her up anytime from work eventhough he was just about to go to sleep? Should she still be saddened that her mother has never shirked her responsibility as a caretaker and provided her with abundant love, food etc and has never ever neglected her in any way?

Should one still be saddened upon knowing she is an "accident child"? Should I still be saddened by that?

Perceiving Myself

What is Your Body-Image?

Congratulations! You have a positive body image.

Your answers show that you feel comfortable with your body. When you look in the mirror, you take both your good attributes and your flaws in stride.
You are adventurous and like to try new things. If the spirit moved you to get up and dance, you wouldn't think about who was watching, and if you were being watched, you wouldn't care.

Your physical self-confidence permeates your relationship with your partner, which is exuberantly physical. Even if you do experience problems in the bedroom, they are not likely to be related to your body image.

I seriously expected the results to say that I have a negative body image. Had I been wrong all this while?

Possibilities

Unexpected! I checked my hotmail and I saw it! I seriously thought that my chances were gone. Zilch. Anyways, I received it and the interview is this Saturday. I almost couldn't contain it when I read the content of the email.

Anyways, I seriously don't know what my chances are. I will be surrounded by beautiful, slim ladies. Saperlah aku ni. I've heard of girls who got "eliminated" at the last round of interview. And those girls are pretty.

Exorcism of Emily Rose, which I watched yesterday, talked about possiblities.

This type of profession does require beautiful, slim ladies but is it possible that they would hire someone like me?

This type of profession is fast to "reject" those whom they deem as "unsuitable" but is it possible that they see the potential in me and grant me that one chance to prove myself and wait while I improve my weaknesses?

Is it possible? My dear friends and whoever reads this, please pray that I will get through all rounds of interview and be granted this profession? Please do pray for me.

EVERYTHING

Money isn't everything but what does "everything" mean to me?

Everything = Life + Family + Friends

The components that make up my "everything" requires me to have money - loads of it.

Life - My everyday life requires me to travel (ie: transport money), communicate (ie: handphone bills), eat and drink (ie: daily expenditure), clothing (ie: shopping) , be responsible for other commitments (ie: monthly contrinutions to the family household etc). All these need money, right?

Family - The amount I give to my parents every month may not be enough to repay all that they went through to raise. Nonetheless, I personally believe that it is a form of responsibilithy for children to set aside a sum of money for their parents. On a different note, I think that it is the immense love and a great sense of togetherness that can drive a family member to utter hurtful words unintentionally. Words that can discrimnate the decreasing perks and increasing headaches of a much lower income - in an attempt to floow one's drams. That's pressure. Pressure to earn more so that the family will not have to worry about you not having enough cash to buy clothes, go out etc.

Friends - To be entertained, you need money. When your surroundings consists of too many concrete and fewer greenery, all the more reasons one needs loads of money to "hang out". So to "chill out" isn't free. "Chillin'" needs money.

Now, is it wrong for me to say that money is everything?

Day One of Raya 2005

Alhamdullillah. My family and I got to celebrate Hari Raya in one piece after all the trials and tribulations that life brought us throughout 2005. Unlike the previous years, Hari Raya 2005 brought more meaning and sadness.

Despite the very emotional moments of seeking forgiveness from one another, we did got to enjoy ourselves as much as we wanted. We knew it was no use harping on the negativities on such a joyous and beautiful month of Syawal. Eventhough I did not capture any photos on that very sombre forgivess-seeking moment, my cousin, Babad and I managed to capture some pictures for the entry. Here goes.

What I hoped for for Hari Raya this year was answered. The Aidilfitri prayers were held under the void deck opposite my apartment. It was such a beautiful moment. I captured this scene from my bedroom window. This was after the Aidilfitri prayers. This is one of the most lovely part of Hari Raya. We may not be related by blood but at the end of the day, Muslims are related as brothers and sisters. I can just feel the sense of togetherness that our dearest Prophet (pbuh) had emphasized. The Mufti this year called on for the young Muslims to learn and be proud of Islam and of being Muslims. Liz harap kita semua, anak-anak muda dan harapan negara dan bangsa, akan menyahut cabaran Mufti itu.

After the men of the household came back from Aidilfitri prayers, we ate, had the forgiveness-seeking moments and set out to "attack" our relatives' houses.

This year, my family's theme colour is YELLOW! I can't help it. I just had to start off the "photocapturing ceremony" with a pose of my own. Everyone was commenting on the "bigness" of my hair. Masuk telinga kiri, keluar telinga kanan. Seriously, I couldn't care less. Our first stop every single year was Ang Mo Kio. This is my auntie's house. My late Nyai (grandmother in Javanese) used to stay here. She passed away a few years ago. Nonetheless, my auntie being the one of the eldest sisters on my father's side must be the first house we visit every year.

Next stop was Tampines - Mak Eton's house. Mak Eton is my mother's eldest sister. She cooked laksa this year. Yummy! We ate to our hearts' content. Oh yeah, just so you know, we ate at EVERY house. Yes, you read it right. EVERY house. I am expecting the weighing scale to be my enemy once again but I am determined to make that only for a while. Soon, the weighing scale shall be my best friend for life. Anyhow, at Mak Eton's house, we took the family photo. Classic. Below is the family photo we took. Bruised and battered but still tight as ever. We are happy to announce the arrival of my dearest brother-in-law, Abang Fitri, and the "removal" of a lady once part of the family. An ex-member. This picture is almost complete. We are missing just ONE more person - my dearest baby niece, Athirah. It's okay Abang. One day, we shall all be a happy family and Athirah shall be in your arms, all smiles. One day. The day is near, insya allah.

Next stop, Bedok. We went to Papa's house. No, he's not my father. To tell you the truth, I really don't know why we call him Papa. Hahahahaha..Oh well, we ate - AGAIN.
That was also where we took the picture below. The young blood of my family. From left, Babad,Abang Fitri,Kakak,me and Abang.

Okay, the last picture (but not the last stop). Okay, I forgot where this was taken but I think it should be at Bukit Batok or Bukit Panjang or one of the bukits. Hehehehe...I don't know. Do you think I look better with my hair let down or tied up?Hmmmm....or no difference? Ugly in both????AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! Sadness. d:(

Those were the pictures on the first day of Hari Raya 2005. Limited but well spent. Next entry will be shots on the second day. Insya ALLAH.

Till then, Selamat Hari Raya, jolly Muslims.

Eid Mubarak

Di hari yang sungguh mulia ini, Liz ingin meminta maaf dan ampun daripada semua teman-teman dan saudara mara jikalau saya telah menyinggung perasaan, terkasar bahasa dan lain-lain lagi. Halalkan-lah makan dan minum saya.

Doa Liz untuk semua di bulan Syawal ini adalah semoga doa kalian termakbul-lah hendaknya dan kalian bergembira di samping insan-insan yang tercinta.

Kepada sesiapa yang sedang mengalami apa jua kesusahan, tabahkanlah hatimu dan kuatkanlah semangatmu. Sesungguhnya ALLAH s.w.t. tidak akan memberi satu cabaran yang tidak akan mampu kita pikul.

Amin.