Juggling a full-time job as well as having a family is no easy task.
Between meeting deadlines and hurrying home to cook dinner, it's no wonder that we, mothers often forget to wind down.
We take care of everyone else but ourselves.
I used to feel guilty just by having a thought in my head about getting a peaceful, uninterrupted coffee break with a good read in my hands.
But really, we shouldn't feel guilty.
Whether you're a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, taking care of yourself is VERY important.
A satisfied and an unfrazzled mom makes for a happy and calm family.
Taking a break does NOT mean that you are neglecting your responsibilities as a mom.
You need to take care of your needs because when you're happy, it shows.
It makes the people around you happy as well.
What makes me happy?
To wind down, I...
1) Walk the mom
I love walking. I can walk for hours. All I need is my MP3 player, my Skechers and I'm good to go.
2) Blogi Mom
Sharing my experiences with other moms reminds me that I am not the only who feels like tearing my hair out - 75% of the time.
3) Bookworm
Nothing beats turning the pages of a good book till the very last page.
So what do you do to wind down?
Love what you see in the mirror
Motherhood is a destination that most woman (secretly) hope to achieve.
I am one of those lucky ones who has been granted an opportunity to experience pregnancy (love that I can eat EVERYTHING), labour (it's menstrual cramps multiplied by a hundred) and being a mum (90% - joy, 10% - moments when I could tear my hair out).
But it should come with a warning -
I love BamBim to bits but it's often clouded by how much I hate looking at myself in the mirror.
So how do you teach self-love to your offspring when you can't even stand the sight of yourself in your birthday suit?
How will I explain to BamBim that before you love others, you've got to love yourself first?
Here's how.
1) Be Thankful
As Muslims, we have a short prayer that we recite the moment we wake up. We thank The Almighty for giving us another chance to live and to always remember HIM.
Say a little prayer and appreciate that you have been granted a chance to experience another beautiful day and believe that it will be a great day - come what may.
2) It Could Be Worse
It's tempting NOT to look at others who have such desirable bodies. But why torture yourselves when you're just going to end up being more depressed?
Turn your focus to those who are worse off than you. But not to mock at them but rather to appreciate what you have and as a reminder that it could be worse.
3) Dress Up
Even if you hate your reflection, so what?
Dress up!
Putting in more effort before going out (even if it's just to the supermarket 2 blocks away), does wonders to lift your confidence.
4) Exercise
In the words of Elle Woods,
I am one of those lucky ones who has been granted an opportunity to experience pregnancy (love that I can eat EVERYTHING), labour (it's menstrual cramps multiplied by a hundred) and being a mum (90% - joy, 10% - moments when I could tear my hair out).
But it should come with a warning -
Pregnancy WEIGHT GAIN is a reality.
I love BamBim to bits but it's often clouded by how much I hate looking at myself in the mirror.
So how do you teach self-love to your offspring when you can't even stand the sight of yourself in your birthday suit?
How will I explain to BamBim that before you love others, you've got to love yourself first?
Here's how.
1) Be Thankful
As Muslims, we have a short prayer that we recite the moment we wake up. We thank The Almighty for giving us another chance to live and to always remember HIM.
Say a little prayer and appreciate that you have been granted a chance to experience another beautiful day and believe that it will be a great day - come what may.
2) It Could Be Worse
It's tempting NOT to look at others who have such desirable bodies. But why torture yourselves when you're just going to end up being more depressed?
Turn your focus to those who are worse off than you. But not to mock at them but rather to appreciate what you have and as a reminder that it could be worse.
3) Dress Up
Even if you hate your reflection, so what?
Dress up!
Putting in more effort before going out (even if it's just to the supermarket 2 blocks away), does wonders to lift your confidence.
4) Exercise
In the words of Elle Woods,
"Exercise give you endorphins and endorphins make you happy."
Need I say more?
Saying is easier than done - no doubt.
Above is a mental checklist each time I feel like smashing my full-length mirror.
Do share if you have other believe-in-yourself tips.
First day of school
I used to laugh at mothers who would get emotional on their children's first day of school.
I would joke about it even.
But now the joke's on me!
I had tears in eyes on the first day DaHubster and I sent Fayrah to childcare.
My "maternal protective instinct" (Is there such a word?) kicked in instanteneously.
I'm not sure if most mums would feel the same way but at that point of time, I felt helpless.
Mainly because at the back of my mind, I know that I can't keep her under my wing forever.
What if she gets bullied in school?
What if nobody wants to be her friend?
What if the other children were nasty to her?
What if..?
What if...?
What if...?
I started to ask a lot of what if questions which was obviously not helpful in such an emotional situation.
They just made me more upset than ever.
So the first two days DaHubster and I stayed for about an hour before we sneaked out.
On the third day, we decided that it was best to "send and go".
That was just what we did.
When we reached the centre, we said our goodbyes to her and off we went.
Fayrah obviously was not happy.
And she expressed it through her loud cries.
It was so heart-wrenching for us - me especially.
At that moment, I wondered if she would hate me for sending her to the centre.
Though difficult, I know that doing so will (hopefully) mean that she will be to adapt quicker to being in the childcare centre.
I wonder if all parents experience the same emotions.
I would joke about it even.
But now the joke's on me!
I had tears in eyes on the first day DaHubster and I sent Fayrah to childcare.
My "maternal protective instinct" (Is there such a word?) kicked in instanteneously.
I'm not sure if most mums would feel the same way but at that point of time, I felt helpless.
Mainly because at the back of my mind, I know that I can't keep her under my wing forever.
What if she gets bullied in school?
What if nobody wants to be her friend?
What if the other children were nasty to her?
What if..?
What if...?
What if...?
I started to ask a lot of what if questions which was obviously not helpful in such an emotional situation.
They just made me more upset than ever.
So the first two days DaHubster and I stayed for about an hour before we sneaked out.
On the third day, we decided that it was best to "send and go".
That was just what we did.
When we reached the centre, we said our goodbyes to her and off we went.
Fayrah obviously was not happy.
And she expressed it through her loud cries.
It was so heart-wrenching for us - me especially.
At that moment, I wondered if she would hate me for sending her to the centre.
Though difficult, I know that doing so will (hopefully) mean that she will be to adapt quicker to being in the childcare centre.
I wonder if all parents experience the same emotions.
4 Easy Steps to Motherhood Happiness
I am a planner.
I love planning my week in advance.
I love knowing what my tasks for the week/day will be. That gives me a sense of focus.
I love the feeling knowing that my day will be well-spent completing what I need to do.
Ticking off items from my to-do list gives me great pleasure.
And the best part of all, things will ALWAYS go as planned - at least 98% of the time.
Right until my promotion to MUM status.
I mean, I love being a mum.
I love it to bits.
Really, I do.
But mummy planning is not a skill that comes easy.
It takes practise and a whole lot of adjustments.
It's challenging because motherhood is full of surprises.
Times when you expect your plan to work, it will completely go the opposite direction.
Truth be told, that was one of the main things that put a lot of stress on me as a new mum.
For months after giving birth to Fayrah, I was a complete wITCH with a capital B.
So I sat myself down and tried to find the root cause to my unhappiness.
That was when I realised that I had to plan and think like a MUM.
How do you do THAT?
Let me share with you the minor changes I did that had major (positive) effect on myself AND the people around me - especially my little newborn.
1) Baby Inclusive. In my personal opinion, your children are (and should) be your first priority. But I hate to admit that there are so many times that I would forget to include Fayrah into my planning. Unless you have a nanny, factors like feeding, changing, giving a bath etc MUST be included because all these responsibilities take up a huge chunk of your time.
2) Be flexible. Life is full of surprises and that's a fact we have to accept - whether or not we like it. So instead of getting frustrated about not being able to check your emails because your little one was super grumpy that day, enjoy the time extra time with him/her. Before you know it, they might get too embarrassed to be seen with mummy once they hit puberty.
3) Get back to reality. I was always so ambitious during planning that I would include more than 6 tasks in a day. More often than not, I would end up grumpy because I never usually manage to get through them! Not even half of it sometimes! A simple rule of thumb - 4 tasks (maximum!) that will take 1 hour or less to complete OR 2 tasks that will take less than 1 hour to complete. Now whenever, I plan I choose either one instead of cramping all of them on 1 day.
4) Take care of you so you can take care of them. Even if it's just for a mere 30 minutes, it can do wonders to your well-being - especially now that you're a mum. Most of the time, we are so caught up in handling and fulfilling other peoples' needs that we completely forget about ours. If it's a spa session, a quiet stroll by yourself, a movie outing or even just reading a book (without any disturbances) that makes you happy, I say DO IT! Allocate just 30 minutes of everyday for yourself because quite frankly, if you don't take cAre of yourself, who will?
I love planning my week in advance.
I love knowing what my tasks for the week/day will be. That gives me a sense of focus.
I love the feeling knowing that my day will be well-spent completing what I need to do.
Ticking off items from my to-do list gives me great pleasure.
And the best part of all, things will ALWAYS go as planned - at least 98% of the time.
Right until my promotion to MUM status.
I mean, I love being a mum.
I love it to bits.
Really, I do.
But mummy planning is not a skill that comes easy.
It takes practise and a whole lot of adjustments.
It's challenging because motherhood is full of surprises.
Times when you expect your plan to work, it will completely go the opposite direction.
Truth be told, that was one of the main things that put a lot of stress on me as a new mum.
For months after giving birth to Fayrah, I was a complete wITCH with a capital B.
So I sat myself down and tried to find the root cause to my unhappiness.
That was when I realised that I had to plan and think like a MUM.
How do you do THAT?
Let me share with you the minor changes I did that had major (positive) effect on myself AND the people around me - especially my little newborn.
Carrefour - Free Home Delivery
Grocery shopping has always been my favourite thing to do (Any reason to go shopping).
I used to find comfort in libraries but ever since I became a plus 1 (and now a plus 2), I find great pleasure and comfort in....supermarkets.
Yup, I am a weirdo.
Damn proud of it, thank you!
So when we would go for our HUGE shopping spree, I choose Carrefour.
Why HUGE, you ask?
Because we would stock up on all the household items like toilet rolls, kitchen towels, bags of rice, cooking oil, washing detergents etc.
These grocery shopping trips are our family bonding opportunities (Told you I'm a weirdo).
It's actually fun searching for the items on the shopping list (and usually a few other items. *wink* *wink*).
By the end of the trip, our shopping trolley would usually be full (sometimes "overflowing").
But for a car-less family like us, that would be a problem because the last thing we want to worry about is the hassle of carrying 5 over plastic bags home.
So I am totally raving about the *free delivery that Carrefour provides.
What's more, the service they provide is absolutely commendable.
Not only are they fast (it can be same-day delivery for non-peak season), they are also efficient.
Just look at how the items that we bought are neatly packed.
Amazeballs!
Love, love, love it!
Eventhough our HUGE shopping spree are done every 4 months, it is truly a great convenience for services such as the one that Carrefour provides.
So the next time you decide to organize a HUGE shopping spree (like ours), I would strongly recommend Carrefour.
If you happen to go to the store at Suntec City Mall, we might just bump into each other.
See you there!
*Free delivery is only applicable for purchases above SGD$150. But if you're anything like my family, reaching SGD$150 is not a problem.
I used to find comfort in libraries but ever since I became a plus 1 (and now a plus 2), I find great pleasure and comfort in....supermarkets.
Yup, I am a weirdo.
Damn proud of it, thank you!
So when we would go for our HUGE shopping spree, I choose Carrefour.
Why HUGE, you ask?
Because we would stock up on all the household items like toilet rolls, kitchen towels, bags of rice, cooking oil, washing detergents etc.
These grocery shopping trips are our family bonding opportunities (Told you I'm a weirdo).
It's actually fun searching for the items on the shopping list (and usually a few other items. *wink* *wink*).
By the end of the trip, our shopping trolley would usually be full (sometimes "overflowing").
But for a car-less family like us, that would be a problem because the last thing we want to worry about is the hassle of carrying 5 over plastic bags home.
So I am totally raving about the *free delivery that Carrefour provides.
What's more, the service they provide is absolutely commendable.
Not only are they fast (it can be same-day delivery for non-peak season), they are also efficient.
Just look at how the items that we bought are neatly packed.
Amazeballs!
Love, love, love it!
Eventhough our HUGE shopping spree are done every 4 months, it is truly a great convenience for services such as the one that Carrefour provides.
So the next time you decide to organize a HUGE shopping spree (like ours), I would strongly recommend Carrefour.
If you happen to go to the store at Suntec City Mall, we might just bump into each other.
See you there!
*Free delivery is only applicable for purchases above SGD$150. But if you're anything like my family, reaching SGD$150 is not a problem.
Silver lining after my hurricane.
During my 4 months maternity leave, I constantly wondered if I would enjoy being a stay at home mummy (SAHM).
In that 6 months (4 months of maternity plus 2 months of summer holidays. Woo hoo!) that I was at home with my little darling, I did everything!
I cleaned, cooked (at least tried to), do the laundry, cared for our firstborn, socialised (barely because everybody else was at work) - you name it, I did it.
I'm not going to apologise for saying this but I actually enjoyed it.
Some people think of household chores as brainless activities.
But you CAN clean the dishes AND read Shakespeare, no? (Not that I did, though. Heh)
However, I believe the main reason why I fully enjoyed my short SAHM experience was because I was still receiving my paycheck.
Okay, I heard you.
Money isn't everything, you say?
Yeah, it isn't but what do I do when the bills start rolling in at the end of the month?
Money isn't everything but it is essential
That's reality.
But I am not one who likes to dwell on negativities so I had to find the silver lining at the end of the hurricane.
Alhamdullillah.
You can't change reality but you CAN definitely CHANGE your mindset.
Are you a SAHM, WAHM or a full-time working mother secretly wishing to be SAHM/WAHM (like me)?
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
In that 6 months (4 months of maternity plus 2 months of summer holidays. Woo hoo!) that I was at home with my little darling, I did everything!
I cleaned, cooked (at least tried to), do the laundry, cared for our firstborn, socialised (barely because everybody else was at work) - you name it, I did it.
I'm not going to apologise for saying this but I actually enjoyed it.
Some people think of household chores as brainless activities.
But you CAN clean the dishes AND read Shakespeare, no? (Not that I did, though. Heh)
However, I believe the main reason why I fully enjoyed my short SAHM experience was because I was still receiving my paycheck.
Okay, I heard you.
Money isn't everything, you say?
Yeah, it isn't but what do I do when the bills start rolling in at the end of the month?
Money isn't everything but it is essential
That's reality.
But I am not one who likes to dwell on negativities so I had to find the silver lining at the end of the hurricane.
Alhamdullillah.
You can't change reality but you CAN definitely CHANGE your mindset.
Are you a SAHM, WAHM or a full-time working mother secretly wishing to be SAHM/WAHM (like me)?
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
Breathe and count to to 10.
If you feel like slapping your cranky 11-month old, take a breather.
If you feel like you are losing your mind trying to figure out what your sick infant daughter needs, take a breather.
If you are frustrated because nothing is going as per what you planned, take a breather.
If you feel like turning your whole house upside down from having to do EVERYTHING, take a breather.
If you feel like killing someone because your stress levels are off the roof,
TAKE. A. BREATHER.
If you feel like you are losing your mind trying to figure out what your sick infant daughter needs, take a breather.
If you are frustrated because nothing is going as per what you planned, take a breather.
If you feel like turning your whole house upside down from having to do EVERYTHING, take a breather.
If you feel like killing someone because your stress levels are off the roof,
TAKE. A. BREATHER.
Even if it was for a mere 2 minutes, TAKE A BREATHER.
You will be glad you did.
How do I know it?
Been there, done that.
Just yesterday, actually.
I am proud of myself for being brave enough to shut out Fayrah's cries and take a breather.
I forced myself to do it because I know the consequences of the actions that you did in a moment of stress and anger is not worth it at all.
So take action by taking a breather.
It will not just save your life - but those of your loved ones too.
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